A collection of twelve short poems never more than thirty-six words long. From subjects such as friends, middle-age, still being cool despite the former, lies, food, family, cats, being rude, tradition and more!

With thanks to EVJF GREG for use of the image.

Friends

i don’t want to make new friends
or the old ones either

Buffet the Vanity Slayer

Ooh, what a lovely spread!
No one ever said
Of middle age

Sweet Little Lies

Can’t challenge
But can indulge
That’s why there’s
A great big bulge
Shut yer cake hole
’Bout big bones!

Down With It

I got gel insoles
Told myself that
If all the young dudes
Knew how good they feel
They’d get a pair too
Be boogaloo dudes
In comfy shoes

Down With It II

The most pengest of munch
Was had for my lunch

Wish Upon a Scar

I wish cats
Weren’t such
Murderous brats

Aunt Ewe

When my lovely aunt 
Left my blood uncle
I asked
Aren’t you my aunt
Anymore?
How we laughed
Though as it turned out
She wasn’t
Instead much as a sheep
Lost from the flock

Rude Awakening

Realise
You’ve been
A dickhead
Do
And while
You’re at it
Still are
Too

Tradition

There’s nothing like
Spending the afternoon
In a pub
A good old British tradition
Missed every day
I don’t do it

Lovesong

For that season
Coming four times a day
Hunger
I care not a jot
But my love for the cure
Is a joy

Unread Letter Day

Walked down stairs
This morning
By the door
Saw an envelope
On the floor
‘Important’
Written on it
In big bold letters
‘Do Not Bend’
How the flip
Am I meant
To pick that up then?

Shorts

I put my shorts on inside out
In short it didn’t matter for
I was inside not out

To receive notifications of future posts of poetry—be they happy, sarcastic or sad—music history and reviews, the odd bit of this and that plus the occasional stab at promoting my books, please enter an email address below.