A Poem about Poems about Cats

On the back of the recent Clawing at the Backdoor yet another poem about cats. In fact, a poem about them. And on International Cat Day too.

If it’s all getting too much,  don’t panic – there’s some calming cat pics coming up below!

The life of an ebook self-publisher
Isn’t all drink, drugs, rock ‘n’ roll
And fuck-off mountains of crack

It’s other things too
Like cat poetry
Actually it’s
Just cat poetry

That’s what it’s come to, people
And protest cat poetry
At that

After all
They can hardly speak for themselves
Mewling and puking
Felt noses and purr

Oh, and sleeping
There’s a lot of that
Fatly covered in fur


Yoda: the little lone wolf. Rescued direct from the streets, considered neglected, so feral as result. Riddled with parasites and literally a mere inch wide at the time. She earned her name due to the way her eyes stuck out of her head. A vet estimated she’d had at least one litter of kittens despite only being about seven months old. Yoda still bares scars on her nose from fighting raccoons, and if ever seeing one now still applies the attack-is-the-best-form-defence strategy with extreme prejudice, often at the expense of any insect netting between them.


Mr B: the elder statesman. Adopted from a shelter at one year old, after a previous adopter returned him as a ‘problem cat’ . Now in his seventeenth year and the cuddliest, purriest, drooliest cat ever.


Konnichiwa: South Park’s ‘Cartman’ as a female cat. First spotted locally living feral in a group of five kittens, she was taken in at about seven months after being attacked by raccoons and showing absolutely no idea whatsoever of how to defend herself.


Pierre Buton D’or: (shown grooming Mr B) leader of the gang of kittens and so brother of Konnichiwa above. Over time the gang of five become just two who regularly turned up on the deck. After we brought Konnichiwa in, he was left outside alone and so inevitably followed. Could you have said no to that lone face nose-to-nose with his sister through the insect door netting?

Thanks for reading.

N. P. Ryan.


Next in vs. Poetry: Buck Rogers and the Invasion of the Twitter Bots
Last in vs. Poetry: Don’t Sweat It

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