How to get the best out of your bed in just three simple easy steps:

 

Three things about bed
That far as I’m concerned
Shouldn’t go unsaid
So ignore
At your peril

1) always have breakfast in it
(unless you’ve got children
if you’ve got children
then get up, you lazy shit
put breakfast on the table
and eat it with them
if you’ve got children
this probably isn’t
for you, boo-hoo
would’ve kept in
the trousers
if only you knew)

2) always have
at least
two cups of tea
before leaving it

3) how to resolve
the contradiction of two
is unfortunately
entirely up to you
like
maybe send the children
to make it
find some use for them
after all
might as well
send them down the mines
while you’re at it

 

 

Header image excerpt from Swinging, 1925, Wassily Kandinsky

Thanks for reading 🙂