Incontinence Buttocks

monika-kozub-Kve4Nh7v5rU-unsplashHello. To be fair the experience prompting this verse related to an issue in a front garden, not rear; but you try sourcing an image to match that scenario (much thanks to Monika Kozub for the one used, by the way).

The below isn’t meant to make light of the situation. That it might appear otherwise is in a way a mental incontinence of mine; I just can’t help what comes out when it comes to writing verse. If there is a point, it’s that plenty suffer while society shies away from the subject.

My dear friend has had issues for years and does take numerous measures before leaving the house to try prevent any accidents. On the occasion in question something had moved, so allowing their defence barriers to be breached. They were fortunate to have a long coat on that hid the fact, though couldn’t get a taxi home from the pub for fear of what might still happen to the seat despite the coat, so walked home instead in a freezing wind that even the coat couldn’t stop reaching jean cloth, where it penetrated wet patches with icy relish to chill never regions with aplomb (at least, that’s how their description of things made it sound). The following, I dedicate to them:


No one ever writes poetry
About incontinence
At least so far as I know
So I thought I’d give it a go
Try to see if there’s
Some ebb and flow
When it comes to a word
Like incontinence
Well, there’s surely
Plenty of the latter
Though stop if you can
It’s no laughing matter
Always caught short
Without warning or port
While still having to get on
With things like living
Instead spare a thought
For those whose plumbing
Gushes without care
For their blushes
Or severity of situation

Thanks for reading 🙂

N. P. Ryan

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