There’s a thing about people from Croydon
Not that I’m from there
No
I just happened to live nearby
For a fair while
Now this thing about people from Croydon
A place I’m most definitely
Not from
That can be easily seen
Just from walking round
The Whitgift Centre
It’s everywhere
From the top
Of that weird shaped building
By East Croydon train station
To the bottom of Surrey St Market
Not that I’m from the area you see
Though I did spend
Some considerable time there
When living nearby to know
About how things always go
With people from Croydon
Though definitely not those
Who simply innocently lived nearby
For a while
Through no fault of their own
Or even more to the point
My own
It was nothing to do with me
That led to my living there
And knowing about the
Croydon thing
They call it part of London now
Which is a lie
As people from London
As I am
Would never endeavour
To such a weak scam
Not that this Croydon thing
Is exactly a con
But it rhymed so much better
Made it easier to move along
I’m from Thornton Heath
Even less

Header image Rainbow and office block Croydon x2; the left of the image is a reversal of the original on right. Original image by Christopher Hilton (licensing).

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