Nothing says Christmas like the pointless waste-of-money present that no one asked for or ever could possibly want. Nothing says Christmas until getting a gift from good old Father Tat.

With thanks to Andrea Piacquadio for use of the header image.

It’s like
Putting the groceries away
When a friend happens
To pop round
And they say
That cucumbers shouldn’t
Be kept in the fridge
But are better off out
In a special container
And they go on and on
About how fresh and wonderful
This particular piece of veg
Is for them now
Even though it’s a fruit
Mostly made of water
Perhaps the most
Frustrating
Piece of advice
Ever given
For what good
Is the information
There and then
It’s the sort of thing
That makes one want
To grab all the shopping
And throw it in the bin
Before saying:
There
It’s all ruined
Due to lack of
Appropriate storage
Happy now?
Then Christmas comes
When the giving of gifts
Is a custom
But this harbinger
Of sage and worthy advice
Instead of bestow
The magic container
That they claimed
Utterly essential
Presents you a mug
With ‘Best Friends Forever’ on
Well you know what say
About enemies
When those close by
Gift that way

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