With thanks to M Ashan for use of the header image (licensing).

I’ve never understood
The British love
Of flies
Even though
I’m from there
Everywhere else
In the world I’ve been
Including the snowy depths
Of Canada
There are fly screens
On windows and doors
In fact
Whole other doors
Right on the outside of
The real door
Which would of course
Contradict the UK law
That says every outer one
Must open inwards
(though I’m not really sure
who goes around
checking these things
and have never once
encountered a door direction
enforcement warden)
But nonetheless
There’s still all the windows
Wide open in lieu
Of any air conditioning
That ensure all and sundry
Of the fly kind
Get invited in for dinner
Via a trip to the lavatory
Animal food bowls, etc
A level of hospitality shown
That would be seen
By no other
Not even a mother
No
It just wouldn’t be right
Summer not bright
Without a fly or five
In the living room
No British home
Pub, restaurant, store, office or
Place of official government business
Can do without them
Even Buckingham Palace
Hasn’t got fly screens
As can be plainly seen
When Brian and Co
Come out onto the balcony
To wave their hands about
As if to say
To every fly in London
Pack your portmanteaus
Come in right on through
Our big wide open
Double doors do
We’ve got plenty of room
Which, of course
In a place that size
They have

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